True to my self-avowal, on Tuesday night I made a decision about which yama to focus on and journal about for the next month (well, two weeks).
The decision came about after work, when I met my man to see a local band. The band was awesome. They sounded even better than the last time we had heard them play. As we finished our drinks, the next band came on stage, and I was ready to politely listen until I finished my rum and ginger ale. Wouldn't you know, the man loved this band. This band of three people- vocalist, bass player, keyboardist- and a drum machine. This vocalist of extreme energy, vocal stylings ranging from a smooth baritone to rough yelling, and interpretive dancing. As I looked at my partner radiating in enjoyment, I thought "He would like these weirdos."
Aha. I could probably use some gentleness in my life. Not that I was using "weirdo" to be derogatory- I really think embracing the weirdness is a good thing, if not always my thing. But that thought was not far from my usual judgmental thoughts. I started with a nice long journal entry today, in hopes of getting down all the various ways I think this exercise will be helpful and challenging to me, and I'll share my thoughts along the way. Every time I think "this will be the hardest part," I come up with a new "hardest part" that will challenge me. Oh, lifelong learning.